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HOME > 編集長コラム  >あるがままの自分を生...

編集長コラム

あるがままの自分を生きる | 農業経営者 4月号 |  (2000/04/01)

【「農業経営者」編集長 昆 吉則 -profile
旅立ち
踏み出そう新しい歩みを休息は充分なはずだ
時間はあまりにも冷酷生命の砂時計は決して止められない過ぎ去った時は戻らないのだ
踏み出そう新しい歩みを振り返るにはまだ早い
立ち止まっていては何も生まれない行き先に道などないがきっと道は後からできるもの
踏み出そう新しい歩みを私はまだ生きているのだから
いつか疲れ果て荒野に崩れ落ちた私を台地は迎えてくれるだろう喝采の拍手で
あるがままに
あるがままに笑うあるがままに泣くあるがままに怒る
あるがままの毎日をあるがままに過ごす
飾ることはない肩の力を抜いて
あるがままの自分をあるがままに受け止める
あるがままの姿がきっと一番美しいあるがままの心がきっと一番美しい
「詩集・雫」四方健二より

この詩は、四方健二氏の詩集「雫」から巻末の二篇を転載したものだ。
四方健二氏は筋ジストロフィー症のために金沢市の国立療養所で療養中の詩人である。筋ジストロフィー症は、幼少期に発病して全身の筋肉が除々に萎縮し、衰えていく進行性の難病である。歩行困難から、最終的には寝たきりとなり、死を迎える。

第一詩集「軌跡」出版から六年の間にも、確実に体力が落ちている。昨年、直接呼吸器をつなぐために、自分の意思で気管を切開した(声を失った)。しかし、予想外のトラブルが続き、何度となく意識を失い、喘息まで発症するようになった。

自らの生が刻限を迎えるために時を刻んでいることを、人は考えようとしない。誰にも平等に与えられることとは、生を受けたことであり、死を迎えることである。そして、生の意味を決めるのは自分自身である。  有限の時の中に生きていることを自覚する詩人は、詩の一篇(「旅人は死なず」)の中で、死んだ旅人の穏やかに微笑み、どこか満足気な顔を見つめて、こう語り掛ける。

「だが君 悲しむことはない
決してこれが終わりではない」

襲ってくる恐怖、苦痛、欲望、嫉妬、後悔、孤独、錯乱、絶望の淵から、彼は言葉を紡ぎ出す。「涙の雫」は小さな瓶に仕舞い込み、きっと大きく包んでくれるあの海に流し、夢と希望と感謝と勇気を語りつづける。自分らしさを忘れずに。そして、それをほんの少ししか動かないあご先で、特殊なパソコンを使って書き記している。

詩集『雫』のご一読をお勧めする。また、皆様にご紹介下さればとも思う。

四方健二氏の詩を世に出すためにこの詩集を出版し、購入読者の好意を基に「四方文庫」を設立し、同じ病で闘病生活を送る青年たちのために活用しようとしている方もいる。

詩集「雫」はA5版、150頁、1、200円(消費税・送料込み)。申し込みは〒920-0025 金沢市駅西本町3-6-5 セイツー奥村晃気付、「四方文庫」設立準備会・・・0762(64)1831/FAX0762(31)6625
Posted by 編集部 08:30

このエントリーのトラックバックURL:

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